


Regarding Grace

by firelizardkimi



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s04e10 Heaven and Hell, Fluff, Gen, implied castiel/anna milton, inner thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 18:49:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14503260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firelizardkimi/pseuds/firelizardkimi
Summary: Castiel's musings as Anna regains her Grace. (4x10 Heaven and Hell)In that moment, he has never seen anything more beautiful.





	Regarding Grace

It had been said that regaining one's Grace was the most pain that any angel could endure. No one was quite sure where that bit of knowledge had originated from. It's not like there were that many angels who could speak to that experience: the few who had had their Grace ripped out for losing faith were generally summarily killed shortly after. The few that had escaped had not made it far before judgement. But Anna had evaded capture for years, her Grace hidden in plain sight around Uriel's neck (Castiel had only been mildly surprised at this fact. Uriel was relentless). Once that vial had been shattered, there had been no stopping it. Freed Grace was drawn to its angel, inexorably, bound together in a way that even the Archangels could not explain adequately ( _It just is,_ they said, which was no answer at all).

“ _Shut your eyes!”_

The first pulse. Castiel can feel it, pushing at him, divine power trying to shove him away, but also drawing him in. He had missed Anna. They had worked so well together. He had trusted her, beyond all others, and she had led their garrison well. In all the battles between Heaven and Hell, they had always watched out for each other. Together they had charged, side-by-side towards the enemy legions, he at her right hand. And when the battles were over and won, she would smile sideways at him and he would feel that surge of love, the kind he only felt for her (and for Father, though, his love for Father was different, though similar in its intensity).

It had made her fall that much more painful.

“ _Shut your eyes!”_

The second pulse is more powerful. It is as if Anna's Grace is rejoicing at the reunification and is trying to spread that joy to the beings in this barn. It is hard to tell from Anna's face. Her shout has taken on a somewhat frantic edge, as if she is holding back. Which, he realizes, she is, so as not to kill the Winchesters and their demon friend. He is peripherally aware that all movement has stopped, but all of his attention is focused on Anna.

He cannot look away.

“ _SHUT YOUR EYES!”_

The humans (and that abomination) have covered their eyes, and not a moment too soon. With a last shout, a yell of agony, the Grace pulses one last time, light streaming from her vessel's eyes and mouth. In the brief moment of silence, Alastair manages one step towards her before her Grace explodes, filling the barn with white light, vaporizing the poor pediatrician the demon inhabits. For a brief moment, he sees her true form, fully restored and as he remembers her from their time in Heaven and on Earth.

In that moment, he has never seen anything more beautiful.

But in the next moment, she is gone, and Castiel is left again with that powerful sense of loss and longing that he felt when she left the first time. That, and a niggling sense of doubt in the back of his mind that maybe, just maybe, she was right.

**Author's Note:**

> SPN is an on again/off again guilty pleasure of mine. I recently caught up on seasons 9-12 (thank you, Netflix), but then went back and started at the beginning again. Misha's face in this scene from "Heaven and Hell" just caught my attention and begged for an inner thoughts fic. This is what came out. Un-beta-ed. Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
